A Funny Thing Happened at the Deli Counter this Morning…

Melvin

Ahhhh…the struggles of the adventurous eater…

So, I woke up this morning jonesing for headcheese (c’mon…it’s ME…) I know, I know, it’s not everyone’s thing, but I love it. And when I need it, I NEED it!

(NOTE: The more you control your desire to express a negative opinion about one of my favorite foods, here, the less likely you are to end up deeply offended by my response…just, you know, an FYI…) šŸ˜‰

So anyway, I zipped over the the grocery store where I usually buy it, and walked up to the deli counter, where I was met by some greasy pre-teen who looked like maaaaaybe some of his bingo-balls were still floating around in the tank.

(Seriously, he had a definite “I pick my nose after I put my gloves on” kinda vibe going on.)

My request for my beloved lunch-meat was met with a blank stare – and I mean blank, like you could look in this kid’s eyes and see the back of his head… – I repeated my request, still my typically cherub-like, friendly self.

“Uhhhh…I don’t think we carry that…”

(pick…pick…pick)

*sigh*

I pointed out the headcheese on the second shelf, and after about 3 days of fumbling with the slicer (I offered to help!) he comes back with my tasty bundle.

“Soooo…uhh…what is this stuff?”

This, friends and neighbors, is where I should have just sucked it up and lied…but, of course, I didn’t…

I told him.

“Dude…(I swear to GOD, he called me “dude”) that’s gross, I wouldn’t eat that…”

(I think we all know what comes next…)

“Of course you wouldn’t…MELVIN, you’re too busy picking tide-pod chunks out of your teeth! How ’bout if I worry about what I’m eating, and you focus on not giving me E. coli, m’kay?”

Our relationship soured a bit after that… šŸ˜‰

~Chef Perry
chefperryperkins.com

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